the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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