I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
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My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
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I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You had me at "let me see your balls"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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