btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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