Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize