i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She bit a glass in half.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize