Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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