We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize