My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
false alarm, still single
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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