I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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