make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize