I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just found puke in my bra..
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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