Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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