Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize