new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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