He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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