i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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