His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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