if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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