I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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