The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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