I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
