Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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