Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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