I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize