It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
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And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
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I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
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