all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
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Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
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She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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