I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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