Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize