My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
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Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
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I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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