a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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