One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize