Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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