I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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