After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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