I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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