we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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