Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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