guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
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I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
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Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize