Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
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It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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