I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize