kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
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The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
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There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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