Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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