What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
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If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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