My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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