But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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