Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize