shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize