After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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