last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize