I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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