You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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