we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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